


of all the things that could be (i could be yours)

by carrow



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 07:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2573405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrow/pseuds/carrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik puts on a mask of naivety, feigns ignorance instead of indifference and Marco plays along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of all the things that could be (i could be yours)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,  
> Here I am again with another work for this pairing - can you tell yet it's consuming my soul?  
> I have no explanation for this except: why the hell not?, so, enjoy!  
> (this wasn't beta'd so if you see any mistakes, please tell me)

The (good) thing about being shy is: he may not be as loud and funny as the more easy going people usually are; instead he pays a lot more attention to his surroundings, watching rather than taking part on what is happening. As the shy guy he is, Erik notices even the smallest things going on around him. In fact, he's seen and heard more than he'd like to about his team mates. 

It's only a matter of time then, for Erik to figure out why Marco is always looking at him, eyes following Erik's half naked body around the locker room or why Marco's touches linger just that bit longer every time they interact. And Erik may prefer to avoid bringing attention upon himself, but that doesn’t mean that he's oblivious about the way he looks or the effect he can have on people. He may not want to grab people’s interest, but nobody can blame him for enjoying it, once it's there. So Erik relishes on the (very noticeable) interest Marco has in him. 

Marco is too open, too sweet for the people around him and it makes things easy for Erik. He knows what biting his bottom lip in a certain way or lowering his head just a little bit makes him look like. He knows that stretching his arms over his head while wearing nothing more than a towel in front of his locker will make Matthias roll his eyes and mutter a "show off" that is more resigned than bothered (he also knows it will make Marco twitch uncomfortably and look away).

All it takes is the both of them high on the feeling of another won game and Erik being slightly more affectionate than normal for Marco to tap his feet nonstop the whole ride back to the hotel they're staying at and an uneventful yet tense elevator trip until they're stumbling into a hotel room, clawing at each other's clothes. It's so easy, he doesn’t even try to resist. 

It's even easier to make a habit out of it. Going home - Erik's or Marco's, it doesn’t matter - after games and celebrating their victories with frantic, hurried sex or getting over a defeat with slow yet rough fucks. They don’t talk about it. It's not like there's something to talk about, anyway, at least not for Erik. 

But he can feel it in the way Marco holds on to him; fingertips turning white by the force of his grip on Erik's thighs, shoulders or hips, face… anywhere Marco can reach. Erik can feel in the way Marco kisses; always taking it slow, like he's trying to memorize it, even when Erik bites and sucks in a crazed manner, Marco will pull back and try again, slowly. In the way Marco looks at him in the tunnel before matches or when they're panting for breathe in his bed; always soft, with a gleam Erik doesn’t see in any other moment.

He can feel it means more for Marco. Yet, they don't talk about it. Erik puts on a mask of naivety, feigns ignorance instead of indifference and Marco plays along. He knows it's not right what he's doing, but he can't help it. Marco has a big heart and Erik has this...tendency to wrap people around his finger. Unlike Marco, Erik doesn’t want love, never did. 

Erik has better things to worry about in his life, he has football and with it competitions – he’s already champion of the world, but he wants more. He wants to be recognized for his skills, wants people to remember his name. He doesn’t have time for love if he wants his dreams to become reality.  
And yet... Yet he can’t help but fall into Marco's bed over and over and over again. It’s easy to pretend he's the one pulling the cards still. He was the one to kick start this, so it’s easy to pretend he comes back because he's bored and nothing else.

Not because the lighthearted conversations they have late at night when they should be asleep, not because sometimes he forgets Marco has a ticklish spot right under his ear and when Erik kisses him there Marco has a giggling fit mid-sex and it should be awkward but it isn’t and in moments like that Erik thinks that maybe, just maybe he let himself be dragged in too deep. 

It’s very fitting, Erik thinks, to compare their thing and a game of cards. He's never been to a Casino before or gambled, for that matter, but having a hand full of cards - good or bad - without knowing how this can turn out for him must feel just like Marco's thighs wrapped around his hips, his erratic breath and little laughs at the end of the night (or beginning of the day) or maybe like Marco's heartbeat in the silence when the entire city is probably asleep but Erik is wide awake in the dark wondering how his own game turned against him. 

In those moments, when he's lying in bed covered in sweat and blossoming bruises, with Marco's heartbeat under his ear, Erik feels guilty. For all the things they could have been. They could have been good friends. Having video game tournaments, going out together, making fun of each other for the stupidest things. They could have had a healthy relationship, but Erik is too selfish for that, he can see it now. 

They could have been more than friends – and more than what they are now. Sometimes, the thought of acknowledging what Marco leaves unspoken hovers over Erik’s mind, makes him wonder what it would be like. It could be the best thing ever or it could push him away from his own goals, but it’s a gambling game, like playing cards. 

He could keep playing it safe, having Marco like he already has – in between sheets; all flushed skin, disheveled hair and tangled limbs. Or he could admit that what makes him feel guilty is not leading Marco on, but the fact that he can’t bring himself to leave. It should be easy. Just get dressed and leave. But he can’t, he can’t! And that’s what keeps him up at night. 

It’s not love, but it could be.

**Author's Note:**

> OH! Fun fact: the draft for this was named "durmeus happy". I'm still wondering how I could miss the point so bad. Guess the angst just won't let go of me. Might as well share the pain with you.
> 
> As always, criticism and comments are very welcomed.


End file.
